Weasley's Country Trip
by RMP
Summary: The Weasleys go on a trip to America. Mr. Weasley, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, and Percy Weasley are absent. Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, and Mrs. Weasley are the ones taking the trip.


(anything in :: is an action)

_Weasley's Country Trip_  
  
Narrarator: You've heard all about Harry Potter being a hero, but have you ever heard about the Weasleys going to an old looking town in America? Rather, an old looking town WITHOUT A WAL-MART?!  
  
::scattered gasps from audience::  
  
Narrarator: Thought so.  
  
---  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Come on, everyone! We haven't got all day!  
  
Ron: Just a minute, Mum!  
  
Fred: Ginny, try some of this! ::holds out candy:: It's real good.  
  
Ginny: Are you sure?  
  
George: We're positive. ::smiles innocently at Fred::  
  
Ginny: All ri-  
  
Mrs. Weasley: FRED WEASLEY! Ginny, do NOT eat that! GEEEOOORRGE!  
  
George: ::grabs the candy from Ginny and pulls something out of his pocket:: Want a tootsie roll, Mum?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: George! Go get in the car! We're coming. RONALD WEASLEY! Get down here!  
  
Ron: ::behind Mrs. Weasley:: I'm right here, Mum.  
  
Mrs. Weasley: ::jumps:: You shouldn't scare me like that, Ronald.  
  
::all march out::  
  
---  
  
::IN CAR::

Ron: Fred! I'm not eating anything you have unless it has a tag guaranteeing I live!  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Fred, stop that!  
  
Fred: ::quickly writes something down and sticks it to the candy:: Look, Ron! It's got a lifetime guarantee!  
  
Ron: Oh! Thanks, Fred. ::eats candy::  
  
::BOOM::  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Freeeed!  
  
---

::ARRIVING IN AMERICA, don't ask how they got over a ocean in a car::

Fred: ::practically gallops out of car:: FRESH AIR!  
  
Ron: ::dazed look on face:: Wally World!  
  
Mrs. Weasley: What DID you give Ron, Fred?  
  
Fred: Oh, just something that makes him, er, dumb.  
  
George: Except I think he's actually gotten smarter, since he was already so dumb.  
  
Ginny: Ron! Stop!  
  
Ron: ::trying to walk into oncoming traffic:: Wha-?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Those boys are hazards to society.  
  
George: ::holds up a dog leash:: Can I put him on this?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: I never thought I'd say this, but I guess you should.  
  
George: Aww right! I think we've hit the jackpot with that treat, Freddy.  
  
Ron: :barks::  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Come, everyone.  
  
::random passerby comes up::  
  
Passerby: Hi! Are you new here! You look lost. Are you lost? That's a nice human dog you have. What's its name?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Yes, we are new. We're visitors, on vacation.  
  
Passerby: Well, there's a few things you should know. ::starts skipping and singing:: This town's undeveloped, no one develops. We sit and watch TV 'till our heads are evees. goes on and on  
  
George: Mum, muggles scare me.  
  
Fred: I can't even use my stupid treats on this guy, he's already dumb.  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Don't even think about it, Fred.  
  
Ginny: ::sneaks up behind Passerby and pokes him in the head with wand:: Take THAT!  
  
Passerby: ::falls asleep::  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Ginny! No underage magic!  
  
---  
  
Narrarator: The Weasleys spent the rest of the day wandering around, trying to find the local Leaky Cauldron. Finally, they gave up and moved into an old alley to sleep.  
  
---  
  
Fred: Do we REALLY have to sleep here?  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Stop complaining. At least it's not raining. It always is in the movies...  
  
George: ::tying Ron's leash to a nearby object:: How come we couldn't have gone to Washington, D.C.?  
  
Ginny: Because the president might bomb us. ::shudders:: It might hurt...  
  
Fred: No DUH, genius.  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Fred, be nice.  
  
Fred: Aye, aye, Cap'n Crunch! salutes  
  
George: Who's Cap'n Crunch?  
  
Fred: I don't know. It was on some box thing we passed in a store window on the way here.  
  
George: That might be the teletubby Harry was talking about.  
  
Ginny: He said televisor, not teletubby!  
  
Ron: ::tries to skip around while on leash:: I'm happy! I've got a baby voice! I carry a PURSE!  
  
Ginny: He's gone insane! Mum, I'm scared of Ron!  
  
Mrs. Weasley: Ginny, Fred, go look for some wood.  
  
Fred: WOOD?! Where?  
  
Ginny: Fred, there's a million trees! Let's go chop 'em!  
  
::Fred and Ginny exit, stage left::  
  
Mrs. Weasley: George, find something soft.  
  
George: ::scans the ground and picks up a rock:: Here, Mum... Mum... Mum... continues  
  
Mrs. Weasley: What?  
  
George: Scary Man!!!!  
  
::scary man is standing there::  
  
George: I'm not old enough to kidnap! Take Mum!  
  
Scary Man: ::in deep voice:: Mash... mash... mellow...  
  
George: He said mash man-o! You're a woman-o! I'm the man-o! ::freaks out::  
  
Scary Man: ::steps forward::  
  
George: ::pulls out piece of candy and assumes karate pose, holding candy in fist:: CAUTION! I have candy and I'm NOT afraid to use it!  
  
Scary Man: ::notices Fred and Ginny approaching and runs away::  
  
George: I did it! I did it!  
  
Fred: Hello.  
  
George: ::squeals:: Mummy!  
  
---  
  
That's all I have for now. I'll update as I write more.


End file.
